or not to pick (no not his nose) that is the question. we have had a recent rash of picking on other kids at school with nick. he says he gets picked on so in order to make himself feel better, he, naturally, picks on others. now i put myself back to sixth grade. I. HATED. SIXTH. GRADE! thank you lindsey muleman. who picked on me like it was her job. i am sure i have mentioned her before (my therapist is so poud i can say her name without causing harm) i would spend every night crying and getting ill to my stomach because i just didn’t even want to imagine what the subject was going to be the next day. not only was it her, but she was able to get all of her friends in their little eighth grade clique to join in and all believe what she was saying. it got to a point that i would get upset about just getting dressed in the morning because whatever i wore, she would find something, however my hair was-it was wrong, the kind of car my dad picked me up in, how i played basketball, or softball, or the clarinet, or the way i walked. it became debilitating. when sixth grade was finally over and she moved on to high school. i spent the next two years worrying about how much worse it would be when i went to high school and tired with every last breath to convince my parents not to send me to the same high school that lindsey was at. i dreaded even seeing her parents at the little league field. it was that bad.
so fast forward a few years and i have nick, who is being picked on at school, but the way he deals with it is to make other people miserable. we have had many many talks about how that is not right. we have explained how if you put negative energy out, that negative energy comes back and that its all about who you hang out with. i even explained more than once the concept that two wrongs do not make a right. but is there a point where the pickees turn on the pickers? if i had been a different person, could i have stopped lindsey from picking on me and therefore make my middle school experience and half of high school easier? and what does that point include. i swear one of these days i am going to pick nick up and he is going to have a black eye, or a broken something (god he is lucky he doesn’t wear glasses) for him to buy a clue. maybe i should tattoo “Treat Others the Way You Want to Be Treated” across his forehead. maybe then everyone will buy a clue.
i would never wish middle school on anyone. i realize that it is all part of growing up and that everyone gets picked on and the grass is always greener on the other side of the street. but how (except for maybe using a fast forward button) can you teach someone that making people feel like crap, or doubt who they are, is not right?
Jens World 