teenagerdom…

my parents started me in school when i was four, which meant i was always the youngest in the class. in fact my entire life i have always had older friends and it is just fine. when everyone in seventh grade all turned 13, i was excited that i had just turned 12 and when i turned 13 in 8th grade my mother got me a t-shirt that said “13; A Teenager At Last!” i think i wore the shirt once considering that it was a size too small and i found it incredibly embarrassing. but its the thought that counts right? Right.

well in less than two days, our nick will be turning 13 and i find myself fighting the urge to get him the same t-shirt. of course i wont, i do everything, and i do mean EVERYTHING, to save him from any type of embarrassment. instead he is making out with an xbox 360 a yankees hat and a bunch of other fun things that i think nick may only appreciate. but its not about the things it, at least for me, is more about the small, functional, family unit we have made in our little apartment. i wasn’t there when his life started, and i wasn’t there for the first words or first steps, but i have been there for the first serious (as serious as 7th grade can be) girlfriend, first game on the big baseball field, his first pull up, first year of school getting all A’s and B’s and only one tardy and one detention and numerous other everyday little things that are shaping him into a wonderful young man.

gone now are the tweener attitudes, we get teen-attitudes now. gone also are the times when he sings “smack that” and i cant quite think there is any innocence there anymore. his future is bright and i know he has a safe, soft place to fall, because that is what i can do for the scrawny 10 year old i met three years ago while we played catch in the backyard. he is no longer scrawny and has a cannon for an arm. it is amazing how much can change in just a few short years and i am so excited to see what the future has for him.

Happy Birthday Nick!!

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birthdays, bowling and meetings with teachers…

i know when i was in grade school and also high school, there were times when i was completely non interested in learning, or even just being. i never could really put words to it, but i was also never really prodded to do so. looking back, there was never any reason, no bad home life, no traumatizing events, just something with in me that eventually i was able to overcome, if someone were to ask me what was wrong or why i was behaving that way my answer would be “i just don’t know” because i didn’t. living with nick has brought all those feelings thundering back, i know exactly how tough middle school can be, and i have no idea how he can make it through given the extra drama that goes on in his life. part of me just wants to accept the “I don’t know why” answer to the “why are you doing that in class” question. the other part of me just wants to shake all the bad thoughts and feelings out of him, just to get him to deal with things now instead of later, because if there was one thing i learned from my years of misery, it was much harder to deal with things later. nick turned 12 today and dad got an email from his teachers describing “disturbing” trends in nicks behavior, not that he is distracting the class or being disrespectful, but that he just doesn’t seem to care, which i think is worse, and speaks volumes and i have no idea what to do about it. i cant put a band aid on it, i cannot tell him that going to bed at 8 pm isn’t the worst thing in the world, and i cant make him feel any better by saying happy birthday. is it that priorities are mixed up? is it years of just doing what he felt like doing? i have no idea, but if there is a manual out there, a crash course in how step in and make everything better, i am more than willing to sign up, maybe there is a instant family for dummies book out there, because at this point i feel like a dummy and that may be my only saving grace.

on a little happier note, after the discussion of “what is going on in school” we took nick out bowling for his birthday. i have to brag that i soundly whipped both of them in both games we bowled. this is where my competitive nature comes out, i never talk trash because i am so inconsistent and therefore can never back up my trash talk, but last night i was a bowling pro, and put both nick and kevin in their places! overall a very good birthday for nick, and to top it off he is having a sleep over at his moms this weekend (i think i give her points for that because there is no way in HELL that i would invite many 11 and 12 year old boys into my house to try and “sleep”)

so while nick is away, kevin and i get to go to my parents house and empty my past life out of the eves and the basement. my parents are moving to dirty jeresey. after my dad took an early retirement from pfizer…best thing he ever did, he called some old colleagues from kalamazoo and they came through with a myriad of offers. this is the one he chose. its a great job with a small company that he is really excited about, plus he will be in his home state only half and hour or so from his mom and the rest of the family. of course my dad being the great man that he is, told me last night, that “we wont be that far from you and i certainly hope you don’t feel as if we are abandoning you in connecticut” i almost wanted to cry, i told him i don’t feel that at all and that i am very happy for him. i just dread going through all those boxes that have stayed taped up since moving from kalamazoo… four. years. ago. not to mention all of the notebooks and textbooks from college that i just had to hold on to for god only knows why. should be interesting, and i may make a little money along the way, i do have a superb surround sound system that i haven’t used in months that i am sure i could get some money for. anyone interested?

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the other day…

all week nick has been in a fantastic mood, i mean a mood that i have never seen him in before and one that has been consistently great! always cracking jokes, bounding around, smiling, hugging, just everything a happy kid does. what a great week. i know he has been really working through things and i believe that it is starting to pay off. for instance, the other day (and i have to warn everyone that this does include discussion about bodily functions) nick came into the room and said ” hey dad, you can put your magazines under the sink in the bathroom for your ‘long sessions’ (fingers and all) like i did. in fact i am going to use one of them right now…” exit nick. we both kinda looked at each other, i raised my eyebrow and kevin kinda shouted after nick saying something along the line of thanks buddy but we didn’t need to know that. it was just so funny how proud nick was of himself that he had figured that out…he is well on his way to becoming a model man! after homework was done, we took nick to get the second “Diary of A Wimpy Kid” he has finished the first one in record time and has really enjoyed it. I read the first one last night and let me tell you it is just as appropriate for adults as it is for middle schoolers. i do not know about anyone else my i HATED middle school. when i was driving into work today, i thought “self; man that author is clever, if i were to write about my middle school experience i would have to start with a disclamer stating that the names and places in this work have been changed to protect peoples privacy” is that sad? all i have to say is i am inspired! so watch out lindsey muelman, man even now seeing that name on some obscure blog still makes me worry that somehow, somewhere, she is going to know what i said and come back and make my life miserable again. isn’t it amazing how much clout one person can have on your entire existence. i think my one little funny ha ha to myself, the one thing that has justified all the thoughts that one day she would get what she deserved, is the day that i was moving out of kalamazoo, i had to run to the small grocery store up the street and who rang me up? thats right! none other than lindsey muelman. thats why i believe in karma! ha! take that! hum so where did this rant come from? have no idea but that felt good. happy friday! maybe i will have to write more just to aid in the healing process.

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attack of the worry wart…

ahh february break, a week off because well the week of christmas was just not quite enough right, why would we want to have kids in school for a whole entire  month? anywho, this past weekend, nick went with his mom…the beginning of the worry wart in me. first i worry if he will be alright, no scary scarring visits from the crazy man. next i worry if he will shower, brush his teeth, not jump off of anything to high and break a limb standard worries with an 11 year old. then i worry if he can sleep alright, if he is getting enough sleep, if he can fall asleep alright. but the worst worry is that he may come home and be so miserable because he is not with his mom and that he will just have such spite for me and me being here. in no way have i tried to or wanted to replace his mom, i am just jen. i spent all day yesterday worrying myself a new ulcer that it was urgent that i just get home. because not only do i worry about that, i also tend to start over-analyzing everything and developing these terrible scenarios in my head and how would i react to them and what would i do and of course that all snowballs into crap! i cannot even imagine what my blood pressure was yesterday. so as i am driving home, with all the terrible scenarios in my head and to the point of tears, i pulled into the parking lot, first good sign is the boys are home, well they haven’t up and left was my first thought. when i opened the door, nick was sitting on the edge of the futon, waiting, for me! with a huge smile and leap he was in my arms before i could close the door. at that point all the terrible thoughts and feelings and fears were gone, just one little act. god i love that kid. apparently he had been checking the window every five minutes from the time he had gotten home as well, something i found out later. so foolish jen had to put the worry wart away and remind herself that there really is something good here and all the thoughts and fears were really just a waste of time, well maybe not a waste of time but defiantly so not warranted. i think i should learn to worry about real concerns like global warming or something that is at least a little bit more rash. now that i have survived that, its time to watch the lunar eclipse, so cool. oh yeah and i was tagged by hallie with a neat little what are you reading meme, i thought it was cool and i am reading this great book so i thought i would go along, here are the rules: 

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the fifth sentence.4. Post the next three sentences.5. Tag five people.

so the nearest book that i am reading is called Czars: Russias Rulers for Over One Thousand Years 

by james P Duffy and Vincent L Ricci ( i thought i made it clear i was a history nerd…)

“A stubborn animosity born of centuries of hatred spilled from both sides as they argued first about where the negotiations would take place (the Russians finally prevailed and the meetings were opened in Moscow), then over which side had started the war. After months of stalemate, a Russian ultimatum forced the Lithuanians to submit a declaration of their proposed terms. Moscows delegation listened to the Lithuanian demands and then stormed out of the meeting in anger.” 

 

so i havent gotten to this part of the book, so i checked to see the time line…oh i see this was in 1536…so history really does repeat itself dosent it? and the last thing is to tag five people, well if i get five people to read this…consider yourself tagged and just let me know! 

 

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you know your from michigan when…

Man Arrested On Suspicion Of DUI On Lawnmower

POSTED: 7:22 am EST January 29, 2008

UPDATED: 7:25 am EST January 29, 2008

ADRIAN, Mich. — A man was charged with drunken driving after going through two bottles of wine, cutting through a snowstorm on his lawn mower and riding down the center of the street to reach a liquor store, authorities said.Police found Frank Kozumplik, 49, homeward bound on a John Deere tractor Saturday night, toting four bottles of wine in a paper bag, officials said.He told officers that his wife had taken their car to work, and that the mower was the only way he could reach the store, two miles from home.

His blood alcohol level was 2 1/2 times Michigan’s legal driving limit of 0.08 percent, police told WLEN-FM. They arrested him and confiscated the mower.Kozumplik declined to comment Monday night.

ahh home! and the kicker is that is exactly where i went to college, and we would joke about things like that happening, we would see the occasional john deere driving down the road but maybe the police force has wised up a bit, it has been a few years! i have always gotten a kick out of the emails about “you know you’re from michigan when…” even jeff foxworthy has put together a list of “observations” for example…

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan . so true, and ours was an indoor one!

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan . i thought everyone did this…

You measure distance in hours. and when you arrive at your destination you are still in michigan!

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. $3000.00 worth of damage later…

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. why? because all of the pot holes are filled in. duh

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). that was the same wedding where the beer came out of plastic jugs.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. i was a clown for years because the costume was soo big (another reason why i hate clowns!)

You can identify a southern or eastern accent. of course we don’t have accents.

Down South to you means Ohio . and people in Ohio are different…

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. i think that only happened once,

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. and when we moved to ct, the poor neglected snowblower is hardly used…

You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.” three words to that…shorts and sweatshirt!

You drink pop and bake with soda. why cant people get that?

Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it’s not medicine. and because of Vernors you also know to use your hand as a map to point out where in michigan you are from.

You know what a yooper is. they even have bumperstickers!

You know that UP is a place not a direction. and i almost went to school up there but that damn bridge…

You understand that when visiting Detroit , the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest. and you know that you can turn left on red when there is no on coming traffic…

feeling a little homesick i guess. other than that not much going on, it is official now, kevin went to court yesterday and finalized the custody of nick, he is now primary and all the other legal things that they can say. its something that he has wanted for a very very very long time and i am so very happy for him. not that much will change with nick and his mom but now kevin really feels like a dad. it was just a great day all around!

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the good parents weekend,

friday night we got to my favorite restaruant…chowder pot. ahh yummy food. as we are sitting at dinner over my shrimp scampi, nicks fish and chips and kevins pile of fried stuff, nick pipes up with “you guys are great parents” my heart melted and i think there was a tear in kevins eye. it was complelty unsolicited and there was nothing that he was going to get by saying that (he is still gounded from  the ps3) it was just genuine and that was great. every once in a while we get those little glimpses that prove we are doing the right thing. there are times when nick will ask me a question, then it will come up again later on with his dad and we have the same answer, and those were not covered before hand. its kinda creepy really. as for kevins mystery pain, the doctors still do not know what it is, he had more tests and thankfully its not cancer, kevin tends to have an overactive imagination, so now we have moved into a mind over pain type attitude, it really dosent exsist, right? right. so for the rest of the weekend we are now working on a social studies project on dragons…pretty cool, but i am such a nerd that i have to contain the enthusiasm, its coming along though!

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