we are all home now!

when we go on vacation, our dog, hobbes, gets his own type of vacation. my parents are gracious enough to take care of him. he LOVES it. dad takes him for walks to go see the cows, he can go out on the deck through the sliding door whenever it pleases him, mom feeds him pretty much everything, and there is a smorgasbord of poop of all varieties in vast backyard. last night we went to pick him up. i think he is happy to be home, not sure if he thinks his vacation was too short. but i had noticed a little void, a missing presence, when he was gone and i am just glad to have him home!

i am also grateful that everyone else who was traveling, made it home safe especially my future father in law. who stayed with us for a few days, was able to go to a yankees games with his sons and blessed us with bagels every morning.

(alright, so this picture isnt exactly from vacation, just imagine him minus the jacket and with yankees hat on!)

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high school graduation…

last night i attended the high school graduation of a young lady that i have been mentoring for three years now. when i first met her she was in a non traditional school setting and living in a type of facility. since then she has moved to a group home, went to a main stream school and is attending college in the fall. she has had her fair share of bumps in the road, but has overcome each and ever one with a grace that is had to replicate. she put a tear in my eye when i pulled up to the house and she was wearing her cap and gown in powder blue. after i commented on how she looked like a high school grad she responded with “i look terrible!” to which i had to say “WHAT” her argument being that the robe was too big. i tried to explain to her that is the beauty of the robes (they are not supposed to be form fitting!) but it was lost on her mostly because of the excitement and nervousness she was feeling at the present time.

we sat outside of the school, on the first night in a long time that it wasnt even threatening to rain, and listened to the school principle, the town mayor, and the guy from the board of education. all of which had very nice encouraging things to say. the student speaches were very well written and the choir was not bad. although if i have to hear “i will raise you up” one more time i may have to jump off of something high.

following the ceremony, the students threw their caps in the air and started to disperse, in all the chaos i hear my name being yelled and saw her running towards me. i gave her a huge hug and she immediately said “LOOK” “I got my diploma and it has my NAME on it!”–more tears from me. we took lots of pictures and had lots more hugs then it was time for the all night party. i am so damn proud of her and i wish her all the best!

Congrats K!!!!!

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bring it on!

2009!! so if 2008 was just a blink, how fast can 2009 go? in a few short months, school will be over with, again. summer will be here, again. and i am really looking forward to just being with my little family, big changes and little changes and everything in between. it has been over a year and a half since we just “added water” and i have to say it hasn’t been easy, but it is something i will for always treasure, not only am i spending the rest of my life with my best friend, i have the privilege of witnessing his son become the most wonderful person he can be, i may even have a small part in that. i remember something from an old job i had, that stated something about it not mattering how much money you have or what kind of car you drove just that you made a difference in one childs life…i can totally understand that and it feels pretty good.

so with that i have to post pictures from our latest little excursion to the city, we had a room near grand central station and spent and entire day with the fritzens-for christmas. it was perfect!

 

Mary and my cousin Abigail played with my cousin Heathers puppy almost all day;

I am not quite sure what mary is trying to avoid, its not like the dog was big…

i wish i was at the front of this shot; how cute are they?

 

and just watching this almost…almost made my ovaries hurt (it did make me rather upset with them, it was fleeting though.)

we are only missing one cousin in this picture…

 

and that was how we spent our weekend, along with lots of walking and shopping and just enjoying each others company!! Gotta love the city!

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i am such a tomboy…

why? because it is so great and warm out, well enough to wear my new shoes, i got to wear my outfit that works perfect, of course, its a great skirt, but yesterday while we were playing baseball i took a line drive off my shine, so not only do i have casper white legs, but now i have a great bulge on my shin that will only turn various shades of purple and yellow over the next few days. but damn my new shoes are cute and a hit in the office, i think i have instilled a little shoe envy. of course this being tuesday, my huffy coworker is back, first thing this morning was a great huff, she had spilled coffee down her shirt, whoops and i am so going to get struck by lightning because other people have noticed the huff, and i have laughed about it with them. i think i need to go to confession. or something. so i have decided that i really need to get into grad school, not only because i want my masters, but because i think i am becoming dumb, well maybe not dumb but i cannot think of any other way to put it, my tv schedule last night was yankee game, commercial break switch to drake and josh, switch back to the game, special interruption for a half hour of zoey 101, followed by the flip back to the yankee game, then intermittent flashes to some cartoon i have no idea what it is called and a basketball game that wasn’t on long enough for me to get involved. i need a new book or something and a big comfy chair that only has room for one, maybe one and a half that i can lounge in and read to my little heart is content. don’t get me wrong, i like watching baseball games, i could do without that drake and josh show, that one kid is just obnoxious and i am really not sure how i feel about nick having zoey 101 as “his show” because really, jamie lynn spears? am i really sounding old now or what, i never for a million years thought that i would at all think about what the real life actors of a kids show are doing outside of the show and what kind of impact it may or may not have on kids who watch the show, humm what is becoming of me? and another thing, is it weird that we scratch nicks back every night before he goes to bed? i am the preferred scratcher, just for the record (he will make deals with me to scratch him more than one night in a row) or is it even weirder that when he goes to his moms, he sleeps in her bed, he is 12. i know when i was 12, i couldn’t get enough of my own time, and i don’t think my parents EVER scratched me to sleep. but that in itself is where i get into trouble, i know i cannot compare my upbringing to what is going on in this situation. i know whats right and wrong, but beyond that, this is a whole new can of worms. but i am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason!

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am i freaking out…

i have heard that question a few times this week. twice from kevin, once from my sister and countless times in my own head. for the first time in my life, my parents will not be living in the same state. now on the surface that sounds like no big deal, and i have always imagined it that way to begin with. but now there is the reality of it. i was so excited to go away to college (same state) and so excited when i had my first house (same town) then we moved out to ct (same house) and i got restless. when i moved to new london ( and yes now i know that was a bad idea) i felt like finally, i am on my own. that was brief and lets just say as soon as the shit hit the fan with the scary, alcoholic, no personality ex boyfriend, i did what any other self reliant daughter would do… moved home! and i have to add that there was no way i could have accomplished that feat if it weren’t for some very good and very strong friends, whom i just haven’t thanked enough. so after some healing, well lots of that, i was able to move on but only with the premise that i would NEVER move in with someone else unless i was engaged. logically i thought that was a wise move, definitely safe. but then i met kevin, and things were so great and moving in was so the next step, so i conceded the whole ring thing (i have to add it was the best move ever!) now i have a family that i look after, albeit a very non traditional one but still its mine all the same and the parents that have looked after me for so long are now moving on, the safety net is gone. part of me is like OMG start to panic… what to do what to do, and the other part of me, the one that is actually louder is like “calm down, there is no need to worry, you will be just fine.” i know my parents will always be looking out for me, but it is so my time now. so as of three weeks from yesterday, they will be down in jersey and i will be in ct. living my life, with my family and doing my thing (hopefully that will include grad school at trinity…) and there will be no reason to panic and think that if they are not here i do not know what to do. there is still that small percentage of me that needs to cut the cord, and it will happen very,very soon. i know everything will be okay because i have the most amazing person with me now, i am sure he doesn’t realize it, but he is, and every time i think i need to panic or worry myself a new ulcer, i can just look in his eyes and feel his touch and know that everything will be just fine.

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attack of the worry wart…

ahh february break, a week off because well the week of christmas was just not quite enough right, why would we want to have kids in school for a whole entire  month? anywho, this past weekend, nick went with his mom…the beginning of the worry wart in me. first i worry if he will be alright, no scary scarring visits from the crazy man. next i worry if he will shower, brush his teeth, not jump off of anything to high and break a limb standard worries with an 11 year old. then i worry if he can sleep alright, if he is getting enough sleep, if he can fall asleep alright. but the worst worry is that he may come home and be so miserable because he is not with his mom and that he will just have such spite for me and me being here. in no way have i tried to or wanted to replace his mom, i am just jen. i spent all day yesterday worrying myself a new ulcer that it was urgent that i just get home. because not only do i worry about that, i also tend to start over-analyzing everything and developing these terrible scenarios in my head and how would i react to them and what would i do and of course that all snowballs into crap! i cannot even imagine what my blood pressure was yesterday. so as i am driving home, with all the terrible scenarios in my head and to the point of tears, i pulled into the parking lot, first good sign is the boys are home, well they haven’t up and left was my first thought. when i opened the door, nick was sitting on the edge of the futon, waiting, for me! with a huge smile and leap he was in my arms before i could close the door. at that point all the terrible thoughts and feelings and fears were gone, just one little act. god i love that kid. apparently he had been checking the window every five minutes from the time he had gotten home as well, something i found out later. so foolish jen had to put the worry wart away and remind herself that there really is something good here and all the thoughts and fears were really just a waste of time, well maybe not a waste of time but defiantly so not warranted. i think i should learn to worry about real concerns like global warming or something that is at least a little bit more rash. now that i have survived that, its time to watch the lunar eclipse, so cool. oh yeah and i was tagged by hallie with a neat little what are you reading meme, i thought it was cool and i am reading this great book so i thought i would go along, here are the rules: 

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the fifth sentence.4. Post the next three sentences.5. Tag five people.

so the nearest book that i am reading is called Czars: Russias Rulers for Over One Thousand Years 

by james P Duffy and Vincent L Ricci ( i thought i made it clear i was a history nerd…)

“A stubborn animosity born of centuries of hatred spilled from both sides as they argued first about where the negotiations would take place (the Russians finally prevailed and the meetings were opened in Moscow), then over which side had started the war. After months of stalemate, a Russian ultimatum forced the Lithuanians to submit a declaration of their proposed terms. Moscows delegation listened to the Lithuanian demands and then stormed out of the meeting in anger.” 

 

so i havent gotten to this part of the book, so i checked to see the time line…oh i see this was in 1536…so history really does repeat itself dosent it? and the last thing is to tag five people, well if i get five people to read this…consider yourself tagged and just let me know! 

 

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you know your from michigan when…

Man Arrested On Suspicion Of DUI On Lawnmower

POSTED: 7:22 am EST January 29, 2008

UPDATED: 7:25 am EST January 29, 2008

ADRIAN, Mich. — A man was charged with drunken driving after going through two bottles of wine, cutting through a snowstorm on his lawn mower and riding down the center of the street to reach a liquor store, authorities said.Police found Frank Kozumplik, 49, homeward bound on a John Deere tractor Saturday night, toting four bottles of wine in a paper bag, officials said.He told officers that his wife had taken their car to work, and that the mower was the only way he could reach the store, two miles from home.

His blood alcohol level was 2 1/2 times Michigan’s legal driving limit of 0.08 percent, police told WLEN-FM. They arrested him and confiscated the mower.Kozumplik declined to comment Monday night.

ahh home! and the kicker is that is exactly where i went to college, and we would joke about things like that happening, we would see the occasional john deere driving down the road but maybe the police force has wised up a bit, it has been a few years! i have always gotten a kick out of the emails about “you know you’re from michigan when…” even jeff foxworthy has put together a list of “observations” for example…

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan . so true, and ours was an indoor one!

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan . i thought everyone did this…

You measure distance in hours. and when you arrive at your destination you are still in michigan!

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. $3000.00 worth of damage later…

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. why? because all of the pot holes are filled in. duh

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). that was the same wedding where the beer came out of plastic jugs.

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. i was a clown for years because the costume was soo big (another reason why i hate clowns!)

You can identify a southern or eastern accent. of course we don’t have accents.

Down South to you means Ohio . and people in Ohio are different…

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. i think that only happened once,

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. and when we moved to ct, the poor neglected snowblower is hardly used…

You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.” three words to that…shorts and sweatshirt!

You drink pop and bake with soda. why cant people get that?

Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it’s not medicine. and because of Vernors you also know to use your hand as a map to point out where in michigan you are from.

You know what a yooper is. they even have bumperstickers!

You know that UP is a place not a direction. and i almost went to school up there but that damn bridge…

You understand that when visiting Detroit , the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest. and you know that you can turn left on red when there is no on coming traffic…

feeling a little homesick i guess. other than that not much going on, it is official now, kevin went to court yesterday and finalized the custody of nick, he is now primary and all the other legal things that they can say. its something that he has wanted for a very very very long time and i am so very happy for him. not that much will change with nick and his mom but now kevin really feels like a dad. it was just a great day all around!

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now for the real post…

a couple winters ago a squirrel gave up and froze on the sidewalk, now i feel that they are nothing more than rats with better fur coats, however they are somewhat cute i guess, but the way this one was laid out over a pile of snow with no visible wounds was rather comical and it looked as if it just ran across the street then decided that life was just too much and went kaput. well my good friend hallie, who also found the humor in the carnage found this picture: and it made my day!

Poor little guy!

another great thing that hallie has is this free association thing, and since i am not really working on anything right now, i figured i would do this weeks edition of it as well, Thanks hallie!!

1. Cluster :not to steal hallies, but the f word following that word is the perfect description for anything dirty, messy, disorganized…
2. Announcement :engaged…not yet, but i have my suspscions
3. Respect :work…at earning it!
4. Incident :report…paperwork that covered my butt working with the special people
5. Accordion :fold, or a really cool book desing
6. Drunk : college
7. If :books, full of “if” questions
8. Dexter :laboratory…too much cartoon network
9. Wedding :white, i know the mystery is gone but still i will be wearing white, thats all the thought i have put into that.
10. Gambling :Mohegan Sun, and the gone fishing slot machine that has paid me lots and lots of money!!

so thanks for all that, makes my groggy brain start to think a little bit. besides the dog barking we had an incident with nick last night, he told us about a little altercation he was in at the beginning of december, so i had to be “parent” and play the pro,con game.

Pro: nick told us about the incident on his own…

Con: it was two months later!!

no more ps3, his idea of punishment for two weeks!

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attack of the axe spray…

i hate axe spray. not even in small doses does it smell good and the whole idea that it “attracts” women is completely off! Nick on the other hand, LOVES IT! he is convinced that not only does he smell good, but the girls will come running. i do not have the heart to tell him that if he smells like an old man, and the girls can taste him coming before they see him, will make them run…but in the opposite direction. i find it fascinating that commercials have such an impact on life in general, but then again that just means that someone in the marketing department is doing their job, because my 11 year old truly believes that if he bathes himself in that stinky aerosol, old man smelling, bad tasting “Vice” spray that he will have all the ladies. i remember once when a school trip at my old job had axe spray down below and set off the fire alarms! what does that tell you about the spray? i think i am going to have to re phrase how i tell him that girls really don’t like when guys smell that strongly, or the spray may mysteriously disappear…

so after that rant, i was reading Hallies blog and found her free association thing and wanted to try it, mind you my mind is still cloudy from the spray…but i will do my best.

1. Mist :: body spray
2. Eating :: bad habit
3. Beacon :: headlight
4. Speaker :: boring
5. Episodes :: britney spears
6. Conference :: speaker phones
7. Sneak attack :: weather
8. Medic :: ex boyfriend
9. Web :: information
10. 2008 :: endless possibilities

and thats all i got, my office is incredibly stuffy and my concentration is waning…time for a nap!

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my dream last night,

 

This is another one of my favorites! i have always felt that way about meatloaf and spaghetti!

every morning kevin wakes up around 5:15, i will usually wake up groggy like say good morning then roll back over and fall asleep. the past few mornings i have fallen back asleep and had the most vivid dreams, the ones where you wake up still feeling raw emotion and wondering whether or not it really happened. Well this morning was the icing on the cake you might say. after kevin kissed me goodbye, i fell back asleep to a world that i am so not ready to deal with. in this dream my sister was pregnant, not only was she pregnant but she didn’t tell me, i found out from my mom. then i found out she was engaged! then i found out her baby that was 28 weeks along wasn’t forming right but my mom was ok with that because the doctor would take four dollars off the price of the birth (that was the clue that this was a dream) the entire time i was hearing these things i was shouting and balling my eyes out. then i had to go to the top of the empire state building to see my sister and i was the annoying person going through security with a million and one things (including a laundry basket full of crap) all the while still crying over my sister and her not telling me. i think the most disturbing thing is that i was more upset that she got engaged before me. i am so not in a race. so i promptly called mary this morning to double check that she is neither engaged or pregnant and then i apologized for being insanely jealous in my dream. she understood and promised that i would not find out that kind of information weeks after the fact and from my mother. i feel a bit better now. i also told nick about this dream, we tell each other our dreams if they were good or bad and if they were funny, well nick said he had a dream as well and that i was pregnant and engaged, i told him the engaged part would be great, but the pregnancy part would be more of a nightmare. he seems really unsure about changes, i guess he told kevin yesterday not to get engaged, and besides stating the obvious, that there would be no kind of change, kevin just said well i will consult you but it is my decision. all very interesting…

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